


Not Your Fault

by newsicals



Category: Newsies (1992), Newsies!: the Musical - Fierstein/Menken
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Eating Disorder Not Otherwise Specified, Established Relationship, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Relapsing, Self-Harm, major trigger warnings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-15
Updated: 2016-01-15
Packaged: 2018-05-14 01:23:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 916
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5724232
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/newsicals/pseuds/newsicals
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>David sometimes gives in and Jack is the best boyfriend ever</p>
            </blockquote>





	Not Your Fault

**Author's Note:**

> I am in no way glorifying any type of self harm. I've struggled with it myself and just wanted to write a cute little thing and explore this theme. Please do not read if you're triggered

Jack was at work when he got Blink’s text.

**David. Relapse. Won’t come out of bathroom. Need you.**

It was short and simple, but it made his heart stop, then explode a second later. He didn’t know how serious it was, but he needed to get home.

He didn’t tell anyone he was leaving. Jack simply grabbed his jacket and wallet then bolted. He almost got a speeding ticket on the way home. When he finally made his way into the house he and David shared with Spot, Blink, and Crutchie, he made a beeline to the bathroom.

Blink was crouching in front of the closed door, trying to coax David out. Jack threw his jacket aside and dropped down by Blink.

“Davey, Jack’s here. It’s okay. He can take care of you. Please come out,” Blink said gently.

David didn’t respond.

“David please say something,” Blink pleaded, getting desperate.

Jack put his hand on Blink’s shoulder, silently telling him he could take it from there. Blink nodded and went to his room.

“David,” Jack said gently. “What happened?”

David didn’t respond again. Jack could only hear muffled sniffling coming from the other side.

“Davey, please,” Jack could feel himself choking up. His face was getting hot and he could feel his heart beating in his fingertips. He was starting to panic.

“You’ll hate me,” David’s broken and hoarse voice came through. He sounded vulnerable.

Jack’s heart broke a little. “No, love, I would never.”

“But I was doing so well.”

Jack could hear David start to cry again.

“It’s okay, babe, it happens,” Jack was using pet names and being as gentle as he could. He knew it was what David needed- to calm down. “Please, just let me take care of you. You can’t go untreated or bleed out, I won’t let you. David, please. I need you. I love you.”

Jack didn’t understand any of it. David was smart, adorable, kind, and the prettiest boy he had ever known. Why would he harm himself like that? How could he feel that way?

Jack didn’t understand his boyfriend’s depression or anxiety. Jack had never experienced anything like it. But over the years, he learned what David needed when he started to get low, or was having a panic attack. He needed to be held and reassured. He didn’t want any questions or anything relating to the issue- that was for later, when Jack needed to know David would come to him or that he was trying to stop. David always said he was trying. Jack understood that.

David was hesitating. The house was silent for a moment, until the lock clicked. Jack sighed of relief and opened the door.

Jack entered and found David curled up on the floor against the wall. There were droplets and small pools of blood on the floor around him, and there was a bloody razor blade at his side. David looked destroyed.

The first thing Jack did was pull him into a tight hug. He didn’t care about getting blood on his clothes, he just wanted to hold David. To keep him there.

“I’m sorry,” David repeated over and over.

Jack gently shushed him and kissed his forehead. He told him not to apologize. He went to the medicine cabinet and took out some bandages and a washcloth.

David held out his arm, revealing several cuts that were still dripping with blood. Jack didn’t say anything, just simply began to clean them.

“You weren’t supposed to find out,” David said softly. “I was supposed to just do it then clean myself up and go back to my writing. But Blink came home early and he saw me, so I locked myself in the bathroom. I didn’t want you to be d-disappointed.”

Jack kissed him, not needing to respond to that. “What happened?” Jack asked David quietly.

David wiped his eyes, finally having calmed down a little. “I had a panic attack,” he said, voice still soft and shaky. “I was having really bad thoughts a-and I couldn’t help it. I’m sorry.”

“You don’t have to apologize,” Jack told him again. He planted a kiss on the scars and wrapped them up. “Just come to me, okay? Even if I’m at work; I’ll come home.”

David nodded. Jack picked him up and carried him out. David protested, saying things about how he didn’t need to be babied. Which was a good sign, showing that David was calming down and returning to his usual self.

Jack placed him on the couch, quieting him with a kiss, then went to the kitchen. “What would you like to eat? You need to eat.”

David had struggled with his eating before, and Jack had always made sure he stayed nourished.

David shrugged.

“Popcorn?” Jack suggested. “We could watch Star Trek.”

David smiled at the thought and nodded.

“Want some of that tea you like?”

David nodded again. Jack made the popcorn and tea while David put on his favorite movie.

Jack sat next to him on the couch and David instantly curled up on him. Jack put his arms around him, holding him close.

“Thanks for being the best boyfriend ever and getting me through this,” David muttered, content and tired.

“Nah,” Jack kissed his forehead. “You’re doin’ this all by yourself. You could do it without me. You’re strong. I’m just here to support ya.”

David smiled at that, close to crying again.

“I love you,” he said.

“I love you, too.”


End file.
